will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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