i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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