i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
