hotel room ftw
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
