Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
