Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize