I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
