Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
