I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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