Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
3pm strippers are depressing
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
