Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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