I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If I die, sorry about rent.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
