I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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