That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
