I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
