come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
