Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
