After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Be still, my beating vagina.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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