You just made me feel so damn special
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
