just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
