It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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