I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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