Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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