You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
