it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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