I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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