idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
