You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Its about making memories worth repressing
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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