Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
