Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
