come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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