but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
