Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize