I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
