i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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