I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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