I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
