I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
