I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
