Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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