D3 body, D1 cock
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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