Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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