He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
