I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
