Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
