can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
