I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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