we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
