the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
