I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
