ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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