Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Houston, we have a squirter
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
