Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize