just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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