some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
