The maid of honor just puked.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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