i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
