drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize