Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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