see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
