people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
