so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
