at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
