So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
