Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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