I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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