new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize