theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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