Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
