Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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