my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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