i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
